Shabir,

Understand I was unsaved just as you are now. But then I was saved, receiving forgiveness of my sins and God's eternal life. Just as I didn't understand because I loved self (consciously or subconsciously) as all those who are unsaved do even in the "good self," you love self and are too afraid to give up that control you have of your self--this is why you don't receive what Jesus did for you.

Think, He said He was God and died on the cross because men gloried in self and rejected Him for His claim He was Creator and thus, His work of salvation. Now whether you kill Him or making a story about Him that is not true to deny the ransom He paid and His deity, you are telling your Creator you don't want a relationship with Him. Hell is that place void of relationship with God just as you have a foretaste of even now.

I am 100% certain that if you were to die in the next second, you would be included in the "rest of the dead" resurrected for Hell after the 1000 years (Rev. 20.2-7).

If nothing else, realize your conscience is cold and seared from sensing the truth of these words. It is a spirit of disobedience and independency to God by rejecting God's Son.

Troy