Do you know why I find myself unable to deny Jesus is God and have never wavered even slightly since I was born-again Jan. 2001? It's an instantaneous event called regeneration of the spirit. Reasoning wise, it's because I can't find a naturalistic explanation to account for the eyewitness testimony of the Apostles in various group settings seeing Jesus alive from the dead. All the world's evidence brings me to that question and the answer.

It really comes down to that for most Christians. Then you can put the icing on the cake by realizing we are sinners, that is, we do things unhealthy for ourselves and others, and it does lead to an earlier death than otherwise (as proof sin is real).

Sin separates you from fellowship with God, so the only way to find reconciliation is by God doing something on our behalf. We can't solve our own problem, but God can, and did on the cross. All you need to do is accept it and are forgiven for every wrong thing you ever did. That is true mercy, love and grace and a promise of future sinlessness and selflessness. Not just forgiveness but power over sin through co-death with Christ to our old man is the other half of salvation.

He wants to be with people who receive His saving solution. Since we are all to be resurrected, the abode of Hell is eternal separation, necessary since you can't be with God, nor do you want to (deep down inside this is what is happening to you). If you were willing to search God out with all your heart and soul only then would you find Him. This explains why you haven't found Him yet.

Nobody ever told me this but I know deeply that to allow you to die and cease to exist while knowing that He exists is evil. All human beings without exception have God-consciousness in their spirit even though many would protest they don't.