In the Gospels we read of our Lord Jesus saying: “He that loveth
father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he that
loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matt.
10.37). We read that He further says: “If any man cometh unto me,
and hateth not his own father, and mother, and wife, and children,
and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my
disciple” (Luke 14.26). Yet our Lord through one of Paul’s epistles
not only exhorts the children to obey their parents but also exhorts
the parents not to provoke their children to wrath (see Eph. 6.1-4).
The Lord also shows us the proper relationship between husband and
wife: how husbands should love their own wives, and wives their
own husbands (see Eph. 5.22,25). The Gospels dwell on hate,
whereas the Epistles dwell on love. Unless you are able to
distinguish between “the first” and “the second”—between that
which is of the flesh and that which is of the Spirit—you will not
understand why; for when you hear the Lord say “he that loveth his
father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,” you might infer
that you can treat your family carelessly and callously; or when you
hear Paul say that the family members must love one another, you
might conclude that you must love your family members above
everything else. You do not realize, however, that what the Lord
warns against is natural love, and what Paul exhorts you to cultivate
is spiritual love. If your love is natural, your love for your family will
draw you away from the Lord until your communion with Him and
love for Him will be greatly reduced if not eliminated altogether. But
if you are willing to commit your father and mother and wife and
children to God, being willing even to hate them if He wills, than you
shall immediately perceive the second commandment of God—
which is, to love your father and mother and wife and children. For
you will have then been freed from “the first” and can now enter into
the experience of “the second.” What error people commit when they
accept only the Gospel half or the Epistle half of the New Testament.