I will cast myself on Gods mercy to lead me to read as you have suggested. This will be good. I was reading the Chapter today "http://www3.telus.net/trbrooks/believersmistakes.htm" Truly we are in such a battle. May God open our eyes to walk in the truth, for His Name sake.
This in particular stood out for me from this chapter. I am afraid, lest I become like this and perhaps this will be good to share on here as there are a number of viewers on here who may be uplifted by this warning and drawn closer to Christ.
"The consequences of a misconception of the truth such as this are (1) the believer himself ceases to be active; (2) God cannot use him because he has violated His operating principle; therefore (3) the evil spirits seize the opportunity to invade him since he unwittingly has fulfilled the prerequisites for their working. Due to his misinterpretation of the truth, and his practicing of death, he becomes a tool of the enemy who has disguised himself as God. Alas and alack, this misapprehension of the teaching connected with Galatians 2 has come to be in many cases the prelude to deception.
"After such a 'death' as this the individual is deprived of any feeling. He cannot feel for himself, nor can he feel for others. He gives those around him the impression of being like iron and stone, utterly devoid of feeling. He does not sense the suffering in others nor is he sensitive to how much pain he has given people himself. He has no ability to sense, to distinguish or to discern things within or without. This person is totally unaware of his own manner, attitude, and action. He speaks and acts without exercising his will and knows not from whence his words, thoughts and feelings originate. Without having made any decision through his own volition these words and feelings nonetheless flow like a river. All his actions are mechanical; no knowledge has he of their sources; he is only spurred on by an alien power. Strange to say, however, unconscious of self as he is, yet is he most sensitive to the treatment accorded him by others. He tends to misunderstand and hence to suffer. In any case, this 'unconsciousness' forms both the condition and the consequence of the enemy’s penetration. By. it the evil spirits are enabled to work, to attack, to suggest, to think, to press or to suppress without the slightest resistance from the believer who is completely unaware of anything.
"Let us consequently keep in mind that what people commonly term 'death to self' in essence signifies death to the life, power, exercise and activity of self; in no way does it refer to the death of one’s personality. We must not efface ourselves and render our personalities non-existent. This is a distinction we must comprehend. When we say without self, we mean without any self-activity, not without self-existence! If a Christian accepts the interpretation which envisages a loss of personality and refuses to think, feel or move, he shall live as one in a dream. Though he conceives himself to be truly dead, entirely selfless, and intensely spiritual, his consecration is ‘not towards God but is as to the evil spirits."
I do know why I am not a Spiritual Man. God is slowly revealing to me day by day the reason for this. Oh how blind we are to Christ. I am yet Carnal. I depend too much on self. I realise that while this may be a narrow path, it surely is the only path a Christian should be on and the normal Christian road. It is all to do with dependence on Christ, and each day God shows me a little more how much I trust in self, and not the Only Wise and Immortal King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
OH how gracious He is, and patient He is with His Sheep. He never gives up and his long sufferings with us who go astray brings forth in us the fruit of repentance. Who is like Him, To whom can we compare Him. May this truly be the Words of my Spirit and not just my mind.
God bless
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