Loved ones can hinder a relationship with God

God’s children have never fully understood how their loved ones could hinder their spiritual growth. As we begin to have other loves besides a love for God, however, we do discover that He gradually loses significance for us. And even should our loved ones love God, we probably will love Him for the sake of our dear ones rather than because of God Himself. Hence our relationship with God descends from the spiritual to the carnal level. We never ought to love God for the sake of another person or thing; we must love Him for His sake alone. Should a believer love the Lord for his dear one’s sake, his devotion towards Him is governed by the one whom he loves. God has thus been done a favor in that the loved one has been responsible for turning the believer’s love towards God. And consequently God becomes indebted to that loved one for the devotion He receives from the believer. Today the loved one propels the believer to love God; tomorrow the same one may cause him to abandon his love to God.

Moreover, when we are inclined towards someone we can hardly preserve our heart in quietness; usually we will be stirred by our emotion to seek feverishly to please the other one. Most likely the desire to draw near to God will be less than the desire to draw near to the loved one. In such a case the Christian will doubtlessly exhibit diminished interest in spiritual affairs. Outwardly nothing seems changed: inwardly though his heart is entangled with his dear one. Spiritual interest, if not totally lost, is surely greatly decreased. Furthermore, the Christian’s aspiration for the vainglory of this world is excited beyond restraint. In order to obtain the attention of his loved one he will seek to impress that one with the things, fashion, beauty, glory, and other aspects of the world. God and His demands go by the board. Be it therefore known that man can love but one person and serve but one master at a time: if he loves man, he cannot love God. We must sever all secret relationships with man.

Actually, only God can satisfy a Christian’s heart; man cannot. The failure of many is to seek from man what can be found only in God. All human affection is empty; the love of God alone is able to fully satisfy one’s desire. The moment a Christian seeks a love outside God his spiritual life immediately falls. We can only live by the love of God.

What then? Does this indicate we need not love man? The Bible repeatedly charges us to love the brethren and even to love our enemies. Accordingly we know it is not God’s will we should not love man, but He does desire to manage our affection towards all men. God does not want us to love others for our sake but to love for His sake and in Him. Our natural likes and dislikes do not have any part here; natural affection must lose its power. God wants us, for love’s sake, to accept His control. When He wishes us to love someone, we instantly are able to; should He also desire us to terminate our relationship with someone, we can do that too. (SM, 204-205, CFP, W.Nee)

this is something i am going through right now. it is very painful to deny partiality which i naturally have towards my loved ones. thanks for the post.

I found Jesus' words comforting,

"Do you think I hve come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to bring strife and division! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor me, and two against - or the other way around. There will be a division between father and son, mother and daughter, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" (Luke 13.53).

But this strife does not happen because of you being a Christian. It happens because of them refusing Christ as their Lord and Savior. They do not repent, so they do not receive eternal life; ergo, there is strife. It is only natural.

But even more than this. Jesus says, "The door to heaven is narrow. Work hard to get in, because many will try to enter, but when the head of the house has locked the door, it will be too late. Then you willstand outside knocking and pleading, "Lord, open the door for us!' But He will reply, 'I don't know you.' You will say, 'But we ate and drank with you, and you taught in the streets.' And He will reply, 'I tell you, I don't know you. Go away, all you who do evil.' [this is speaking of Christians, though it does not mean not once-saved-always-saved]

And there will be great weeping and gnashing of teeth [in outer darkness], for you will see Abraham, and Isaac, Jacob, and all the prophets within the Kingdom of God, but you will be thrown out. Then people will come from all over the world to take their places in the Kingdom of God [including all those transferred livingly into the millennium]. And note this: Some who are despised now will be greatly honored then; and some who are greatly honored now will be despised then." (Luke 13.24-30).

For us, the matter is not the strife that comes against us from the unsaved. It is in our our own house of the Lord that the problem exists. "The prophet is a watchman for my God over Israel, yet traps are laid in front of him wherever he goes. He faces hostility even in the house of God" (Hosea 9.8). And whether or not we will receive the reward of reigning with Christ! Otherwise God will throw us into outer darkness outside the light of the reward of reigning with Christ. He will say He does not know us, and we will see from afar those reigning in the millennial kingdom that will will not partake in.

This motivates, to go that extra yard for God and to love Him for His sake, not our own affection. Otherwise we love Him only when we are happy. We need to learn to love Him when our emotions are low also. There is no area in our life that needs more consecration. It is the hardest element a believer has to offer. We can quickly fix our thoughts. But, he who has not died to worldly affection, probably has not died to anything. This is the greatest test of all. I don't think it is possible for us to have two masters, otherwise things always get mixed.